Nicole Dauz

I am the proud mother of a son who is neurotypical, and a daughter, Summer, who has a rare genetic disease, autism, and intellectual disability. Like many parents who become caregivers, it was a huge shock to the system and what we had envisioned for our parenting life and the life of our child. At the time, you go into survival mode. You are in shock; it’s just you literally getting through the day and not having the supports.

At one point, I just hit a wall and had a full-on panic attack at work.

During that time, I thought, “What’s going to happen if something happens to me? Who is going to take care of the family unit?” That’s when I really looked at my wellness through a different lens. I realized that I am not just responsible for Nicole. I have an obligation to make sure I take care of myself so that I can manage the ultra-marathon that is caregiving.

On a very practical level, I make a conscious choice to get up earlier and start my day with yoga and meditation and then I pepper my day with little things like dancing in front of the mirror. I’m so proud of the progress I’ve made, because I can see the impact has had on my kids and my relationships.  Taking care of myself and being better rested makes me show up as a more patient human. And it all goes back to the root of doing these activities that break up my day and pepper it with joy. I’m disrupting the frustration, the fear, the guilt, and just saying I am allowed to live a meaningful life as a parent caregiver.

My daughter turns 15 at the end of November and it’s amazing to think that I’ve gone from trying to stay afloat in the ocean of caregiver emotions to participating in discussions about a national caregiver strategy. My two main hopes are that this strategy will ensure caregivers across the country can access resources, regardless of where they live; and introduce Chief Caregiving Officers in the workplace.